The Great Chik-Fil-A Debate

I’ll be the first to admit I’m not an activist, I’m a pacifist, and I believe firmly in the concept of “live and let live”. I’ll be me, you be you, and hopefully—not as Republicans or Democrats, not as Protestants, Catholics, Buddhists, Muslims, Wiccans, Agnostics, or Atheists, not as men or women—but as human beings, we’ll find a common ground on which to meet and to celebrate our individuality. It’s not that I don’t have strong opinions about certain subjects, but more a case of believing that my opinions are my own and really shouldn’t matter to anyone else because what you think counts just as much, if not more so, than what I think. But it’s this sense of self-importance and self-righteousness and the grandiose belief that what some people believe is more legitimate than what others do that seems to be getting in the way of us behaving compassionately toward one another, and honestly, it makes me worry about the state of the human condition.

Let me be the first to acknowledge that I, in no way, claim to be without more than a few character blemishes. I sometimes forget the “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” rule, but I also grew up believing in the idea of treating others the way that I want to be treated, judging not lest I be judged, casting the first stone only if I myself be without sin, and that since we ALL are supposedly made in His image but fall short in His sight that none of us is without sin. That makes perfect sense to me because none of us is perfect, so when Dan Cathy says, “I think we are inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at him and say we know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage,” it makes me wonder if he is as sinless as he’d like us to believe, and if so, then why should he be so fearful of that judgment? Aren’t Christians supposed to welcome judgment day as their recognition and reward for living a spotless life? I would think it would behoove him to be more fearful of his bigotry than of a man and woman’s right to marry whom they love, because God’s judgment is a blanket judgment, and I don’t know if He would appreciate Dan Cathy taking a single edict from a book written by mortal men to discriminate while at the same time completely disregarding the biblical principle of loving thy neighbor as thyself. Perhaps Mr. Cathy should reread the Old Testament definition of marriage and see how “non-traditionally” God viewed marriage in the beginning. Hm…maybe that’s called evolution, and if that’s so, isn’t it possible the definition of marriage is yet again evolving?

Perhaps Mr. Cathy should also familiarize himself with the Bible’s thoughts on divorce, then examine why nearly half of all first marriages, nearly two-thirds of second marriages, and nearly three-fourths of third marriages end. Then maybe he should research how many petitions for divorce cite “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for the dissolution of the marriage. Nowhere in the Bible does it say “we grew apart” is a valid excuse for divorce. Hm…maybe divorce has evolved too. It certainly seems to have departed from “God’s plan” for marriage between a man and a woman. Maybe we need to give someone else the opportunity to get it right.

I don’t deny Mr. Cathy’s right to speak his mind. If the First Amendment didn’t exist, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to post this rebuttal. But what I do deny is his right to hide behind that amendment and to be outraged that he’s receiving backlash for his inflammatory and prejudicial remarks. What he said is no more politically or socially correct than if he’d come out and said he was against interracial marriage. Discrimination is discrimination, regardless of where that belief stems from and regardless of how much he couches it in his righteousness. His remarks may be based in the belief in his God, but it also stands firmly in the disregard of the fact that his remarks have marginalized an entire segment of His children who reportedly were made in His image.

If Mr. Cathy is truly living a moral and upstanding life based on God’s word, then he cannot be a hypocrite and use parts and parcels of that word to support his homophobia while ignoring the rest of it because it contradicts and invalidates that intolerance. It doesn’t work that way. Or at least it’s not supposed to.

This has become quite a divisive subject within a very devout segment of my own family, and to them I say this: I’ve been married for twenty-one years, have three children, and fail miserably to see how who someone else loves and wants to spend the rest of their lives with will undermine my own marriage or my family’s values. The only person with the power to destroy what I’ve spent almost half my life building is me, and the day that anyone tries to tell me that I will be condemned to hell because I show others compassion is the day that I say you keep to your God and I’ll keep to mine, and I’ll just continue to love you in spite of how ashamed you are of me and my beliefs.


21 thoughts on “The Great Chik-Fil-A Debate

    • Thanks, Jerry. I honestly just don’t understand the mentality of it all. How some people can justify their hatred using a religion that’s supposed to be based in love is beyond me.


  1. Lost somewhere in my tumblr is a quote from George Takei, something about how not being able to trade your daughter for a couple of goats means that the definition of marriage has already changed from the biblical one… But more seriously – I agree with your point about people being awfully selective re: what the bible says. If people are going to use Leviticus, for example, maybe they need to look to themselves first. Wearing mixed fibers? Had a haircut or shaved? Leviticus has harsh words for you, too…


  2. PD Singer says:

    <3 you with a big squishy <3. My marriage is in no danger from others who would like to pledge devotion to the one they love either. And anyone who quotes Leviticus and fails to keep kosher is committing major Leviticus-fail too. Chik-Fil-A will put cheese on that sandwich…


    • This is where I just can’t help but shake my head at all the hypocrisy that’s built into this issue, Pam. It’s picking and choosing things from the Bible to validate the hate, while completely ignoring everything that would contradict that hatred because it suits.

      People should worry a little bit more about their own souls and keep their opinions off of everyone else’s. :)


  3. Bwahahahahaha! How much do I love John Stewart? So much. He and Steven Colbert…I want to bask in their comedic genius.

    Thanks for those links. Loved! <3


  4. Wonderul, well thought out post. I’ve also known so many people who stayed in horribly abusive marriages because their devout beliefs wouldn’t allow them to do otherwise, and their spouses used that to full advantage. I simply don’t get why some people want to use the Bible to promote their own agendas. And most of the people I personally know who do so never set foot inside a church or bother to read the words for themselves. If you don’t even own a Bible, stop trying to quote it!

    A memorable rant that I recently heard was a woman spouting, “I can PROVE homosexuality is wrong! If we were all homosexual, we’d die out in a generation!”

    Duh! The same would happen if we were all straight, but all male… or all female. But we’re not all straight, we’re not all male, we’re not all female, and we’re not all gay. We’re exactly as God intended! He’s really good at what he does, don’t try to speak for him! Personally, I got the feeling the woman who said those hateful words didn’t come up with them herself, but parroted somoene else. Which is another problem in itself–people blindly following a message of hate. And the fact that she was smoking and screaming into a cell phone for the whole world to see while pumping gas didn’t take away the blatant aura of “someone not to be heeded”.

    Hey, it’s legal for me to marry a man in this country, but I don’t want to. Can I give my place to someone else who does, like my friend John?


    • Hugs, Eden!

      Do you know what I’d have loved to have asked that woman?! Oh! I’d have loved to ask her, “Hey, lady, you know, the Bible says to be fruitful and multiply. So, why do you suppose God makes some women and men infertile, hmmmm?” If someone is infertile, does that make them gay just because they can’t propagate the species??? See, this is the problem with people who don’t think about what they’re saying and follow blindly along with what others say they should think. It just makes me angry and frustrated, and I’ll continue to think for myself, thank you very much.


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