A door opens and two men enter the room. One has inquisitive green eyes and calico hair, an unusual color on Earth, but common on his home planet of Trygos.
Taz: My, Reed, why have those two sent us out again? I do not understand.
Reed: Time for another book, that’s why. *looks at Julie and Michelle* Am I right?
Julie: Gosh, Michelle, guess we can’t pull the wool over these guys’ eyes, can we?
Taz: I don’t understand, why would you wish to do that? Then we could not see.
Michelle: *Groans. Gotta find a book that explains this stuff!* And here we go.
Reed: I’ll explain later, kitten. *looks out at everybody* Hello out there. I’m Reed, and this is my boyfriend, Taz. Taz is an alien. Yes, I mean he’s an honest-to-goodness alien. He’s from the planet Trygos. We met at the Empire State Building when Taz was left behind by a dumbass alien called Vorlod. The no-good ass dumped Taz. Just left him at the ESB with no money or anything. It still makes me crazy when I think about that.
Taz: No, my Reed, do not let him make you crazy, he is not worth it. *He purrs and wraps himself around Reed* Just think, if not for him, I would not have you now.
Julie: *rolls eyes* Michelle, isn’t this the part where they usually tell us to get out? And mind our own business or something?
Michelle: Yes, usually. *grins* I’m not going anywhere, so…
Reed: Right. *untangles Taz* Okay, kitten, back in your seat. No, no, your seat, not mine. *Shakes head* So, what do you guys want to ask us?
Julie: You know, the usual. What’s new, what have you been up to? Seen any good plays. That kind of thing.
Taz: *trying to be helpful* Well, Reed has been talking about getting a swing, and I think it sounds—”
Reed: *turns red* Speaking of sounds. Did you hear that? No? Huh. Wonder what that was. Now, I, ah… okay, what’s been going on, right? Well, Taz and I ended up going down to see the folks as a spur of the moment thing. My dad had a health scare. Turns out it was not a major thing, but it was scary. Taz got to meet my parents and siblings, though.
Taz: Your sister Renee is wonderful, and I love both the Herb and Jeanette. But Jacob… *frowns* He is not a nice man. I wish we could have removed that stick you told me he has up his ass.
Julie: *works hard not to laugh aloud* Gosh, anyone have a drink? Where’s a drink when you need one?
Michelle: *looks at Julie* Maybe we should’ve put an ‘on’ button on that stick. Might have loosened him up, lol.
Reed: Doubt it.
Michelle: *dies laughing* Okay, maybe not. I didn’t care for him, either. I did like Renee. She’s cool. I’d love to kick back at her bar. That was a cool place.
Julie: I know, right? And watching these two *jerks a thumb toward Reed and Taz* was priceless. Except when you-know-who showed up.
Taz: *frowns* Please do not bring him up. He is evil, and a very bad man.
Michelle: Yeah, well, he is a bad man. And you didn’t let him get away with anything either.
Reed: I have to say, Peyton certainly met his match in Taz. But I’m glad Peyton pushed his way back into my life. I mean, I didn’t enjoy the things he did this time, but I had many unresolved issues concerning him. Seeing Peyton again forced me to handle those. Having Taz there with me, helping me, was very important. I’m not sure I would have been able to face Peyton without Taz’s love behind me.
Julie: Well, it’s cheaper than therapy, you gotta admit. Hey Michelle, think we can go to Renee’s bar? We can make these guys take us and pick up the tab?
Taz: *looks around on the floor* I don’t see the tab, Reed, what color is it?
Reed: *Looks at Julie, then at Taz* It’s green, kitten. As in the color of money green. I’ll be paying for the drinks for all of us.
Michelle: *LOL* Good one, Reed. By the way, Reed, how’s your dad doing?
Reed: Still griping about all the things that are bad for him that he can’t eat now. But he’s exercising more now, and he’s cut back on his favorite treat—ice cream. His health scare really got his attention. I do think he splurges now and then, and Mom turns a blind eye. Got to keep the old man happy or who knows what he’d run out and eat. I love my parents, but I have to say I’m glad to be home. I missed New York.
Taz: Me too. Very much. It’s hard to be quiet all the time. New York is a noisy place. Nobody notices a little sound. *He grins in a very pleased manner*
Julie: *tries not to burst into laughter and almost chokes* Do we want to know more about that, Michelle, or should we let sleeping kitties lie?
Taz: *confused* But I am not sleeping. That is silly.
Michelle: Let sleeping kitties lie lol. *waves* Thanks for stopping by, everyone! Here is the blurb and excerpt for Be My Human.
Reed and Taz are still adjusting to their new lives together when a medical emergency sends them flying down to Florida on short notice. Not quite the way Reed pictured introducing Taz to his family. Reed’s sister, Rene, welcomes the outgoing Taz with open arms, and the kittenish alien charms Reed’s parents.
But someone isn’t quite so enamored of Reed’s boyfriend—his homophobic older brother Jacob seems determined to be as unpleasant as possible, and he’s making their visit very uncomfortable. The sudden appearance of Reed’s controlling ex releases a flood of insecurity and bad memories.
Reed begins to doubt himself, and his ability to love and be loved in return. When strange items begin appearing as if out of nowhere, he wonders if he’s being stalked, or is he just paranoid? What can Taz do to prove to Reed that he’s more than enough man for this alien?
Excerpt: They’d been living together for a month now, ever since the fateful day Taz had literally fallen on Reed at the Empire State Building. One of the first things Reed had done after the adorable alien had moved in with him was buy Taz a cell phone, then teach him how to use it. Even though Taz was from another planet, one that was much more advanced than Earth, he was unfamiliar with Earth’s comparatively primitive technology. Reed swore after Taz had been kidnapped by the creature he’d dubbed the Evil Alien, he’d always have a way to call for help, thus the phone. That first week after they’d been reunited, Taz had talked Reed into letting him stay home alone while Reed worked at the boutique. Bad idea. Very bad idea. Taz had called Reed around lunchtime, nearly in tears.
When Reed arrived home, he’d been greeted with a nightmare of a mess. Even before he got to his apartment, he could hear the TV blasting in the living room. Which was bad enough, but Taz had somehow figured out how to turn the surround sound on. When Reed opened the door, the noise nearly blew him out of his shoes. It was like sitting in the front row at a movie theater. That, it turned out, was the easiest problem to rectify. Reed had shut the TV off, then looked around the apartment, stunned and slightly horrified.
He’d forgotten about Taz’s natural curiosity. What a mistake that was, and the proof of his error in judgment was spread out all over the kitchen. Flour had been strewn across the floor, a few eggs lay broken on the counter, every covered container in the refrigerator had been taken out and opened… then tasted. Taz had found the blender, dumped some sort of liquid in and turned it on, without putting the top on the machine. There was unrecognizable goo all over the counters, the cabinets, the floors. Plus, Taz had found the sugar. From the looks of it, he’d eaten half the bag.
And that was just the kitchen.
The bathroom had been thoroughly explored as well, as evidenced by the streams of shredded toilet paper spread throughout the place, toothpaste smeared all over the counters in minty globules, and so on.
What was that old saying about curiosity killing the cat?
Meet the Authors: Julie Lynn Hayes was reading at the age of two and writing by the age of nine and always wanted to be a writer when she grew up. Two marriages, five children, and more than forty years later, that is still her dream. She blames her younger daughters for introducing her to yaoi and the world of M/M love, a world which has captured her imagination and her heart and fueled her writing in ways she’d never dreamed of before. She especially loves stories of two men finding true love and happiness in one another’s arms and is a great believer in the happily ever after. She lives in St. Louis with her daughter Sarah and her cat Ramesses, loves books and movies, and hopes to be a world traveler some day. She enjoys crafts, such as crocheting and cross stitch, knitting and needlepoint, and loves to cook. While working a temporary day job, she continues to write her books and stories and reviews, which she posts in various places on the internet. Her family thinks she is a bit off, but she doesn’t mind. Marching to the beat of one’s own drummer is a good thing, after all. Her published works can be found at Dreamspinner Press, Wayward Ink Publishing Amber Quill Press, MuseitUp Publishing, Torquere Press, and eXtasy Books. She has also begun to self-publish and is an editor at Wayward Ink and MuseitUp.
M.A. Church is a true Southern belle who spent many years in the elementary education sector. Now she spends her days lost in fantasy worlds, arguing with hardheaded aliens on far-off planets, herding her numerous shifters, or trying to tempt her country boys away from their fishing poles. It’s a full time job, but hey, someone’s gotta do it!
When not writing, she’s exploring the latest M/M novel to hit the market, watching her beloved Steelers, or sitting glued to HGTV. That’s if she’s not on the back porch tending to the demanding wildlife around the pond in the backyard. The ducks are very outspoken. She’s married to her high school sweetheart, and they have two children.
She was a finalist in the Rainbow awards for 2013.
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